Painting of The Power of Love by F.F.Long
© "The Power of Love" by F.F. Long

Marriage and Spiritual Growth

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I often have run into conversations amongst Spiritual seekers who make statements about the advantage, even necessity, of being single and/or celibate so that one can truly focus on their Spiritual development and not get sidetracked in the mundane world of here and now.

I have a very different understanding on this. Let me predicate it with a little background. I married at 20, divorced at 23, one child. From 23 on I have dedicated my life to this path...a path of Spirit. I dated till 30. I did not find a Spiritual companion and decided it was probably not in the cards for me in this lifetime. I was comfortable with that belief and ceased focusing on it whatsoever. I continued to spiritually grow, integrate, and connect more deeply to Spirit. I was very content and happy. I finished raising my daughter and six other children, ran a drafting business and taught metaphysics. Life was full and good.

At 42 I had a clairaudient experience (not unusual for me) that said, "You will be married by the fall." I thought it absurd! I said to Spirit, "Right, anyone I know? Or do you plan to just have him knock on the door?" Laughingly adding, "Besides, who needs the drama? I'm happy." For the next month I had consistent dreams involving a wedding ceremony that took place at my house. It was a Kabbalistic ceremony...I could hear the words of the ritual, I could see the gown I wore (which I REALLY liked *grin*) and the body of the man, but his face was always in Light. The dreams repeated again and again. I shared this with a friend, and had come to the conclusion that this was another level of "mystical marriage," an internal process that I was going through. I speculated that the dreams represented a new level of integration. My friend said, "Well, you're probably right, but you do need a new gown for ceremony, and on the off chance that this thing manifests on this is already May, and it would take us that long to make it for it to be ready for the fall." We both had a good laugh; then we trotted out and started making the gown. I had the absolute conviction that I was just making a very wonderful dress for ceremonies.

In June men started coming up to me in stores, classes, everywhere I went and asking me out! It was the strangest thing. I hadn't changed my way of dress, hair, or weight...not even a new perfume, for gosh sakes! I really wasn't interested in dating, so I just kept saying, "No, thank you." About mid-June, after a particularly insistent man had been asking me out, I was driving home and said in my mind to Spirit..."What's with all these men?" Again, clairaudiently I heard, "Think of it as window shopping." So I said, "Forget it! I'm not interested and don't have the time. If I have to do this, take me directly to Nordsrtom's or Neiman Marcus. I don't want to shop for a bargain, or dally in K-Mart!"

When I got home, I thought, "this is really weird" I did some very focused contemplation instead of my normal flippant conversations with Spirit. The main query was "Why?" The answer was that I had integrated as much as an individual personality could at this time, and now I needed to do that same integration with another. I needed to out-picture that balance (as within, so without) for my Spiritual growth. I was also informed that this kind of marriage, a true Spiritual marriage, done for this purpose, would help heal the mass consciousness by its very existence. Reminded me of the Kabbalistic idea of reuniting YHWH with the Shekinah...Priest and Priestess rejoined...

So Spirit had caught my interest, and captured my attention by putting it into those terms...and I begrudgingly and not very enthusiastically accepted that this "marriage" thing was going to happen on this dimension. Who, how, where, and why, I didn't have a clue, or much care...just the next rung in Spiritual growth, I said to myself.

Next, I woke up one morning and realized Spirit was strongly encouraging me to have a huge 4th of July party and invite every person that I met that day to it. I said to Spirit, "Right, here I am trying to support this California 4-bedroom house and all my expenses through donations from my classes...since you encouraged me to drop my commercial businesses and YOU want me to write! Now you want me to spend a bunch of money, and have a party, and invite a bunch of people, who are probably very weird, to my home! NOT!"

Spirit was insistent. I argue with Spirit a lot, but I'm not a fool, so I finally wrote an invite and made 50 copies that morning. I took the invitations with me, as I was volunteering my time at a metaphysical bookstore that day. People came and went; most I gave the invite to (most I knew *smile*). About noon a nice-looking man in motorcycle leathers came in looking for a tarot deck. I had a delightful conversation with him, helped him pick out a deck, and he left on his bike saying he was going to Half Moon Bay (about 50 miles away).

As soon as he left, Spirit kept saying, "You were supposed to give him an invitation."

"Right, like I don't even know his name! He's probably happily married with 5 way! And too bad, he already left!" I mentally stuck my tongue out.

About two the same afternoon, the same guy is back. I say, "I thought you were going to Half Moon Bay?" He says, "Yes, but I decided that this store was so interesting I should come back and look some more."

So we chatted again, and when I had sold him more goodies I gave him a party invite. He said, "I've always wanted to live in Boulder Creek." I say, "Great!" (being very clueless and primarily concerned about the rent money due) "Why don't you move in! I have two rooms available for rent and a separate cottage in the back too!" He laughed and said he had some things he needed to take care of first, so I said fine, he could check it out when he came to the party. I really didn't think about him after that.

Day of party (hope you're enjoying this long-winded teaching story)... There I am on the deck with seven men I don't know, who all showed up on time and not one of the female invites in sight! (Insert celestial guffaws from my guidance) These men are all very nice, but very introspective and difficult for even this Sag rising Sun/Moon Gemini to keep entertained all at once. Great conversationalists they are not! (insert roaring laughter from the angels watching this) Suddenly I hear the sound of a motorcycle! I'm ecstatic! I know it's the man I had invited in the store and he can TALK! HALLELUJAH! I literally run out of the house to greet him. He gets off his bike and falls to his knees and says, "I'm going to live here." I say, as I give him a big hug, "That's fine, but right now I'm in desperate need of a host!" He immediately changed focus. He came inside, entertained, emptied ashtrays, made coffee, and as I'd see him through the crowd (about 45 people came) was delightfully doing his appointed task. 'Twas wonderful!

About midnight the crowd thinned to twenty. I finally got a chance to sit down and talk with him...and talk, and talk, and was lots of fun, and talk...till about 4:00 in the afternoon the next day, actually, when I had to go teach a class.

I thought he was nice, no more. I found out he was an ex-Navy Commander Pilot, not married for 13 years, no kids, a lay Eucharist Episcopal Minister, an accountant, and had woken up one morning with a compulsion to buy a tarot deck. He didn't know anything about tarot, but thought it might be interesting. Fine, I big deal, nice guy.

Well, now Spirit works on him through clairaudience and dreams. He calls me up 3 days later and says, "I've had these three dreams and I need to know what is going on. The first is a large group of people in white...different costumes, Priest, Rabbi, Sikh, Native American, etc....all in a circle around me, laying their hands on me and giving me a sword. The second is you and I in robes with our arms raised leading a ceremony. The third is walking through your house trying to figure out where I should put all my things because I'm living there. So I guess what I'm trying to say is I think we're supposed to get married and I think I even love you...does any of this make sense?" Through my laughter I suggest he come to dinner, knowing that we have to talk.

So he came to dinner. I laid all my cards out on the table...what a strange person I am, and who I work for *grin*...expected him to quietly get on his motorcycle (as any common-sensed man would) and fade into the distance. Instead he said, "You know, I don't have the experiences you have had, but I have this knowingness inside that I have prepared my whole life for yes, I want to marry you." Could have knocked me over with a feather! So I insisted on sending him home to think about it for a few days...this isn't like one could say to Spirit, "Well, I tried it, but it's not my cup of tea." I knew it was the whole enchilada or nothing. I really thought he should think about it!

Next day he calls, says he has thought about it and it's a go. I say, "Well I can't marry you unless you are a Priest too and a full working partner in this...and that is a commitment to Spirit, not to me." So he says, he understands that and he was in the process of that with the Episcopal Church anyway, but he hadn't been comfortable because that form seemed too limited he knew this was the right way. I ask, "Well if I wasn't the prize, would you still follow this path?" After a pause, he quietly said yes. I said, "So be it." and we got off the phone.

Over the next few hours I got phone calls from others in various countries who do the work I do saying "OK, who is he? Tell us all the dirt!" I was shocked. I hadn't had a chance to tell anybody what was going on...they had all gotten the news via Spirit and had also known it was coming for months. (Insert more celestial laughter and guffaws) A conspiracy!

Anyway, we married that fall; the dress was done (as gorgeous as the one in the dream). We've been married for sixteen years now. Lance has Spiritual stretch marks all over him. I am far more Spiritually expansive than I ever was by myself. Each of us stretches the other to their max and brings out the highest potential. We work for, with, and through Spirit, in everything. Lance is my best buddy and a great reflection of the All.

So from my experience, when Spiritual seekers make statements about the advantage, even necessity, of being single and/or celibate so that one can truly focus on their Spiritual development and not get sidetracked in the mundane world of here and now...These are statements I would disagree with strongly.

The physical reality of a "mystical marriage" may not be in the cards for all, but it certainly is a viable way. Personally I agree with Kabbalistic philosophy on this. Man and woman are to be Spiritual partners...intimately...reflecting the dynamics of creation.

In Oneness,
Kythera Ann

Lance thought you might enjoy hearing our theme songs, viewing the words and seeing a couple of photos of us. This seems as appropriate time as any to invite you to do just that!

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